Saturday, 12 April 2008

Updated - George Orwell

Historical Figure

Novelist, political commentator and Patron Saint of Decency, George Orwell's ideas form the basis of modern Muscular Liberalism.

While he garners much respect for having physically confronted fascism by enlisting to fight in the Spanish Civil War, he is particularly lionised by Muscular Liberals for his political writings.

His most important and relevant works heap derision upon elitist Hampstead liberals and the Ivory Tower intelligentsia, rigorously refuting and ridiculing their moral relativism and liberal guilt.

Orwell was also the celebrated author of works on linguistic accuracy in political speech, inspiring Decents to eschew all forms of propaganda and weasel words when arguing.

His influence upon Decency cannot be overstated, and all over Britain hundreds of committed Muscular Liberals dedicate themselves to ensuring that his vision becomes reality.

An Anatomy of Decency - How Orwell's Vision Was Realised

Problematically, however, historians tend to gloss over Orwell's psychotic hatred of elephants, which he hunted and executed by the thousand, gunning them down without mercy while laughing in celebration.

Selected Bibliography

Homage To Catalonia - Entertaining knock-about larks in Spain, in which the author comes to realise that physically fighting fascists in wars should be secondary to penning venomous screeds denouncing The Left.

Notes On Nationalism - Fiery polemic dissecting the tendency of useful idiots to don ideological blinkers that prevent them from perceiving politically inconvenient facts, leading to the acceptance of irrational, illogical and highly partisan beliefs, like a gaggle of unstoppably dense football supporters.

Animal Farm - Cautionary tale describing how the Far Left became everything it once despised by allying itself with its former foes, rather than working democratically with Man to incrimentally advance the cause of Animalkind.

Politics And The English Language - Masterclass in the art of Decent discourse.

1984 - Novel exploring the use of euphemism and selective memory as a tool of control. Required reading for Muscular Liberals.

External sources: Politics and the English Language by George Orwell, British Writer Sought After Elephant-Shooting Spree, Guardian Online

Monday, 7 April 2008

(Cough, Cough, Mumble)

Rhetorical Ploy

Koff-Koff Mumm-bal

The intermediate stage in the typical tripartite Decent foreign policy initiative, book-ended by the initial confrontation of fascism and the final democratisation of tyrannies endgame, leading to yet another giant forward step in the march of liberty. (See also, magical ponies.)

Worryingly flimsy rhetorical plywood bridging the yawning chasm that separates the moral imperative from the positive policy outcome.

"Friends, it is vital to the future of peace in the region that we support the Iraqi Trade Unions, while glossing over their continued opposition to the American occupation. We must continue to show solidarity with their cause until... (Cough, Cough, Mumble) ... at which point the Iraqi people will finally defeat Islamist obscurantism and tyranny."

(Cheers, cries of "Hooray for democracy!")

"Indeed, I say to you that now is also the time to stand up to the tyrants of the Chinese Communist Party!"

(Wild applause, Hoo-ah!s)

"And not only that, but all nations must boycott the forthcoming Beijing Olympic Games, thus forcing the Chinese authorities to... (Cough, Mumble, Cough) ... a free Tibet and a democratic China! Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!"

(Hysteria, palpatations, speaking in tongues)

Alternatively, the Jurassic Park Fallacy, after the laughable 1990 Michael Crichton novel and subsequent film, in which idealistic scientists somehow manage to create viable dinosaurs from some DNA and some damn fresh air.

Administrative Notes 6

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