Monday, 27 August 2007

Alan Johnson

Person, Polymath

Ah-Lahn Jonn-Sun

Labour MP and Secretary of State for Health, Alan Johnson still finds time in his busy schedule to edit and contribute to Decent website Democratiya while denouncing the Academic/Media Complex.

Although he has been capped 18 times for Scotland, his footballing career suffered a serious setback in 2007 when he was kidnapped by Palestinian militants who held him hostage for almost four months.

He was freed after one of his captors, while surfing the internet, chanced upon examples of his eloquent, emotive prose and clips of his clinical finishing in the penalty box.

"Let it be known that Alan Johnson is a friend of the Palestinian people. Allah surely smiles upon a man who could score such a hat-trick against Rangers at Ibrox, especially during the Gascoine-Laudrup era."

- Statement of Army of Islam proclaiming his release, June 2007


Anonymous said...

Alert. There are two highly decent Alan Johnson's. One was in and out of various Trot organisations (I can remember him telling me of how Alex Callinicos presciently denounced him as an Imperialist stooge) and is an academic who claimed to have been 'Iraq-ed' (he ranted at me one evening about how the left had FAILED, UTTERLY FAILED, in a rather finger waving and menacing manner, to the bemusement of a number of passers by, whilst the other is the good chap you've identified. I'm unsure if they're related but its demmed confusing. Its just possible that the Labour MP you mentioned is entirely innocent (although very unlikely). Will the real Alan Johnson stand up? Its just this sort of lack of transparency which means that decent people can no longer...etc, etc. Incidently your failure to register this is comical. HP ought to write a long hysterical diatribe of how a so-called blogger could get such BASIC facts wrong. Obviously once you've read this you will be FORCED TO ADMIT that you were WRONG but will probably FAIL to APOLOGISE. I don't understand why people like you are even allowed to have jobs etc, etc.

christian h. said...

Update: Democratiya has now been folded into Dissent. This is hilarious on so many levels.