Saturday 18 August 2007

Oil

Noun

Oy-al

1. Flammable liquid used for fuel in vehicles and domestic heating systems.

2. Natural resource, the pursuit of which was the primary motivation for certain nations' support of fascism and coddling of fascist dictators in 2003 - see also Russia, France, Germany.

3. Natural resource, ludicrously offered by Conspiracy Theorists as a motivation for confronting fascism and liberating Iraq in 2003.

"Jacques Chirac's priority is protecting French oil interests in Iraq, rather than confronting fascism."

"President Bush today demanded that the Iraqi government ratify a U.S.-sponsored bill that would allow American companies unlimited access to Iraq's vast oil wealth at super-bonanza knock-down prices."

List of persons motivated by crazed greed for Oil -

Vladimir Putin, Gerhard Schroeder, Jacques Chirac, George Galloway, Hugo Chavez, Osama Bin Laden, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Brian Haw-Haw

List of persons motivated by a noble thirst for Freedom -

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Saint Anthony of Good Faith

1 comment:

StuartA said...

It's important to note that, should any Pro-Fascist persist with the oil conspiracy theory (a term surely worthy of definition here, btw), one can knock them down with Tony's Dead Cert Oil Conundrum:

"If we wanted their oil we could have bought it. Why would we steal it? Duh!"

This powerful retort annihilates any naive theories about control of energy resources, reliance on Saudi Arabia, etc.