Friday, 24 August 2007

Saint Anthony of Good Faith

Historical Figure, Decent Martyr

British Prime Minister, 1997-2007

Heroic campaigner for justice, Saint Anthony of Good Faith struggled righteously for the traditional socialist goals of privatisation and war, before becoming the first Decent to be publicly martyred.

Barricaded inside 10 Downing Street, Saint Anthony was an almost powerless figure for most of his Premiership, struggling against an all-powerful elite of Bruschetta-munching Hampstead Liberals and pro-fascists to bring freedom, justice and anarchy to the Middle-East.

Despite the overwhelming forces arrayed against him, Saint Anthony somehow managed to liberate Iraq, loyally helping his ally President George W. Bush to dictate the rate at which the Iraqis would sell their natural resources to his business associates at super-bonanza knock-down prices.

Famous for his parables -

"I can apologise for bringing anarchy to the Middle-East, but I cannot apologise for removing a fascist dictator,"

"My actions may have contributed to an uncountable death-toll, but I did it in good faith,"

"I feel no shame for my complicity in the bombing campaign against Beirut, for truly, Terrorists Are Bad."

Facing an unstoppable tide of latte-sipping pro-fascists, Saint Anthony was taken from the houses of Parliament and crucified in 2007 - his last words, "Forgive them, Lord, for they know not that I am a pretty straight kind of guy," will outlast him, and his glorious legacy will be seen in the stable democracies that he helped establish.

Do not see also, Useful Idiot.

3 comments:

ejh said...

Jesus again?

Malky Muscular said...

You better remember it, Stopper.

a said...

It's so true. Many's the time his fellow Fabian Society members would say to him, "Tony, are you sure it is wise to devolve so much power to the workers' councils?" but Blair was unyielding in his desire to give power to labour and to the common man.