The Guardian

Reprehensible Media Organ

The Garr-Day-Yan

1. Islamist daily newspaper, published and purchased by useful idiots, The Guardian (also Al-Grauniad) is the primary source of suspicious propaganda, disseminating racist and anti-American materials, causing fascists to laugh in celebration.

Beloved of effete elitists and bruschetta-munching Hampstead liberals, the Guardian dribbles its hate-filled bile and moral equivalence into the public consciousness like a leaky pisser thrust into the ear of the nation, leaving Decent Observer columnists to seethe at their own frustrated impotence.

"Did you read that Madeleine Bunting piece in the Grauniad? Why, I've never read such utter nonsense - the paper's slide into irrelevance continues."

2. Islamist daily newspaper, published and purchased by useful idiots, The Guardian is the primary source of the Decent Dole, a private welfare system that guarantees an income for muscular liberals who have slid into senility and incoherence.

"Did you read that Andrew Anthony piece in the Guardian? Why, I've never read such vibrant, witty and relevant writing - the paper's commitment to publishing cutting-edge commentary continues."