Wednesday, 10 February 2010

You Are The Decent Ref - Human Rights NGO Edition

1) A Humanitarian NGO that does fine work exposing the crimes and atrocities of dictatorships worldwide has recently begun to criticise the Departures From Universal Principles of nations that are uncritically supported by the Decent Left.

You then discover that a hideous gaggle of despicable right-wing lunatic bastards have unearthed proof that a military analyst who works for the NGO collects World War II memorabilia, including German army issue kit and insignia, and are engaged in a wingnut circlejerk of the utmost ferocity aimed at damaging the NGO as badly as possible.

What do you do?

a) Nothing. Jesus, a military analyst who's also a massive World War II geek with a fetish for uniforms? What next, a football fan who likes lager and pies?

b) The NGO risks harm to its reputation, thus harming its ability to publicise human rights violations by tyrants and totalitarians. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to investigate and, if necessary, discipline or fire the analyst in question.

c) Publish post after post after post furiously denouncing the NGO, feigning concern for its reputation and good works while actually striving to inflict as much damage upon it as possible, while inviting a massive crowd of baying right wing fuckheads to defecate liberally over the NGO by painting it as a malign conspiracy of Jew-hating, anti-western Nazi bastards?


2) A Humanitarian NGO that does fine work exposing the crimes and atrocities of dictatorships worldwide has recently begun to criticise the Departures From Universal Principles of nations that are uncritically supported by the Decent Left.

You then discover that the NGO is hosting public appearances by a former inmate of a massive American black prison network with a long record of disappearances, arbitrary detention, torture and murder; the former inmate, however, holds deranged and unpleasant Islamist views.

What do you do?

a) Nothing. Jesus, the whole point of human rights is that they're universal. It's entirely obvious that states will crack down on extremists and nutters as much as they will on peaceful democratic dissidents, and any human rights org worth its salt will take both cases equally seriously. Plus, what the fuck? Torture and black prisons?

b) The NGO risks harm to its reputation, thus harming its ability to publicise human rights violations by tyrants and totalitarians. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to investigate and, if necessary, discipline or fire anyone found to have taken actions that are in conflict with the organisation's founding principles.

c) Publish post after post after post furiously denouncing the NGO while feigning concern for its reputation and good works and actually striving to inflict as much damage upon it as possible, while inviting a massive crowd of baying right wing fuckheads to defecate liberally over the NGO by painting it as a Jew-hating, Jihadist-fellating anti-western conspiracy and, further, using the issue as a stick to beat your political enemies and launching a fucking Facebook campaign?

3) A large number of Humanitarian NGOs that do fine work exposing the crimes and atrocities of dictatorships worldwide have recently begun to criticise the Departures From Universal Principles of nations that are uncritically supported by the Decent Left.

You then discover absolutely any scrap of pissweak propagandistic horseshit that may damage the NGO and discredit their attempts to hold Democrats to minimum international humanitarian standards by implying that war, torture and murder may not be entertaining and laudible activities.

What do you do?

a) Nothing. Jesus, you may not agree with everything that NGOs do and may strongly disagree with some of it, but you appreciate that launching a series of vindictive and spiteful hate campaigns against the world's leading humanitarian organisations would be counterproductive and wrong-headed.

b) The NGO risks harm to lunatic, bloodthirsty and disastrous military misadventures unconditionally supported by the Decent Left, thus harming western nations' ability to launch insane and murderous bombing campaigns against heavily populated urban areas and to operate a secret network of black prisons. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to consider whether war, surgical strikes, arbitrary detention, torture, murder and disappearances are really worth getting all steamed up about, in the midst of a Global War on Terror.

c) Immediately seize upon any old bullshit that damages the NGO in question by pretending that the International Red Cross may have collaborated with terrorists to bomb their own ambulance, using a risible pack of wingnut lies published by a hideous shower of evil right wing bastards as evidence; Reprint a pack of dubious What If? bollocks from a well-known Republican cretin implying that Human Rights Watch conspires with the Saudi regime to falsely attack Israel; Reprint a mad Israeli wingnut's attempts to hurl huge handfuls of shit at HRW by accusing one of its employees of loving terrorists and terrorism; Instantly shit your pants in terror when an Amnesty official compares the Americans' secret torture, murder and arbitrary detention network of black prisons the Gulag; Issue a full-throated defence of international disappearance and arbitrary detention or a masturbatory Real-Men-Ain't-Afraid-Of-Torturin'-a-Bad-'Un display of belligerent machismo; call for "morally serious" people to have a debate on torture, an issue which deserves careful consideration, and generally make it clear that opposition to western human rights violations is the preserve of ivory tower-dwellling pro-Islamists who pray for the destruction of western civilisation?

Answers

Mostly a)

If you like Jihadistan so much, why don't you fuck off and live there, you relativist, genocidal Osama Bin Liberal bastard?

Mostly b)

There's a time and place for level-headed, rational discussion, and it's never and somewhere else.

Mostly c)

Congratulations - you are a morally serious, level-headed Decent. Our deranged plan to suicide bomb every left-wing organisation and institution on the face of the planet into submission, in the insane hope that a new, more politically acceptable network of human rights organisations will automatically spring into existence on the day of the Rapture, proceeds apace. Onwards to an ill-defined and probably fantastical victory, comrades!

7 comments:

organic cheeseboard said...

brilliant

i also think an entry for 'online campaign' is in order. Givce that Nick Cohen seems to have started this one (in order to try to shift copies of his pisspoor book, but hey) while he has also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to prove that all online campaigning is done in bad faith...

FlyingRodent said...

It's only fair to note that, the day after I put up a post with a link to Professor Norm urging reasonable people - and waving the Great Waggy Finger at blogger Shuggy, who was correct in that particular argument - to think hard about the arguments for torture... He showed up here (the miracle of Sitemeter, kids) and then published a post rejecting torture outright about an hour later. Good lad. Plus, having clicked through today's OMG let's fuck Amnesty right up thread at HP, there is at least a little bit of pro-forma harrumphing about how, like, torture and extrajudicial detention are bad. At least one or two of them noticed.

Can't help but spot that the Decents are kicking ass over Amnesty, but strangely subdued on the issue of Binyam Mohammed and state collusion in torture. Maybe they're waiting for more info - you know how they hate to go off half-cocked...

~JP~ said...

I stumbled across this post through a constant search I have via Google Reader. I'm an NGO and Israel blogger, and I think this piece makes a particularly good point about thoughtfulness and criticism. I have linked to it today.

I really enjoy your blog, and I look forward to becoming a regular reader of your material. Thanks!

FlyingRodent said...

On the Principia Wingnuttia - i.e. that the more obscure and stupider wingnut will say bluntly what the movement's leaders dress up in highfalutin rhetoric - we find HP comments cretin MoreMediaNonsense saying bluntly what smarter Decents can only imply...

"As has been noticed before (most notably in the Euston Manifesto) there is a real issue with AI spending so much time campaigning against Gitmo and other abuses inflicted on those caught up in the War on Terror... AI should think of splitting into two parts. One could call itself "Amnesty for the victims of the so called "War on Terror"", the other "Amnesty for the millions suffering sustained and gross Human Rights abuses worldwide". I know which one I'd give most of my money to.

http://bit.ly/9zBeeh

Great idea, comrade. AFTVOTSCWOT could then drop the pretence and just call themselves "Jihadnesty International" before suicide bombing a nursery or something.

Anonymous said...

Haha ...brillant...

Keep up the good work...this is an excellent blog...

Dunc said...

"As has been noticed before (most notably in the Euston Manifesto) there is a real issue with AI spending so much time campaigning against Gitmo and other abuses inflicted on those caught up in the War on Terror"

MoreMediaNonsense clearly isn't an Amnesty member then. I am, so I get the magazine, and I can clearly see how their time is spent. It's mostly on the "everything else" category.

Ah, my mistake... "[S]o much time" = "any time at all".

douglas clark said...

This post should be in next weeks Brit Blog round up.