Sunday, 30 September 2007

Far Left

Pitiful Laughing Stock/Existential Threat

Hilariously ineffectual and disorganised gang of Students Waving Placards supporting the opposition in Iraqi Political Football.

A fringe groupuscle of suspicious, unserious ideologues whose influence upon the public consciousness is precisely nil, the Far Left is a rabid, ravening wolf begnawing the soft underbelly of British democracy.

Led by George Galloway, Brian Haw-Haw and the Academic/Media Complex this ludicrous gaggle of clueless no-hopers and bumbling intellectual pygmies threaten to undermine the very foundations of law and liberty.

Perpetually colluding with fascists to destroy all human freedom or spewing racist propaganda in preparation for a new Holocaust, these insignificant non-entities can be found prattling their snakebite-fuelled drivel to three men and a dog on any given night.

Their risible attempt to prevent the liberation of Iraq having been met with public derision, these feeble political assassins have pressed the curved scimitar of Islam to the throat of civilisation by conspiring with a comically inept band of ruthless, bloodthirsty Jihadist monsters.

These farcical buffoons are closely watched by vigilant Decents, whose commitment to resisting the hideous threat of these useful idiots is vital in the quest to confront fascism.

No Muscular Liberal would ever miss an opportunity to point out how the Far Left's prohecies of resurgent Western imperialism and malfeasance have fatally wounded its credibility.

Known for their intolerant boycotts and demonstrations, the Far Left would never miss an opportunity to gloat over the Failures in the Reconstruction Process that have blighted Iraq's transition to stable democracy.

See also moral equivalence, Liberal guilt, Grievance Mongering.

Monday, 24 September 2007

Laugh In Celebration

Fascist Hilarity

Laff In Sell-Leh-Bray-Shun

Response of Fascists to any suggestion by the Academic/Media Complex that the increased threat of terrorism is in any way related to certain foreign policy catastrophes.

(Group of swarthy Jihadists cluster round television to watch Ken Livingstone speech).

KEN: "I think it's obvious that our policies of torture, extra-judicial detention and surgical strikes have played into the hands of terrorist groups."

JIHADISTS: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! THIS USEFUL IDIOT CRACKS US UP!

(Tears, gasping for breath, cries of "Nurse, my sides!")

Fahrenheit 9/11

Celluloid Travesty

Fah-Renn-Hite Niy-Nee-Leh-Ven

Pro-Fascist propaganda movie about kite-flying Iraqi children playing at the swingpark, while fluffy bunnies snuggle with Uday and Qusay and sparkling magical ponies frolic in the Tigris.

Also contains brief historical distortions and rhetorically inflated references to bombing.

Academic/Media Complex

All-Powerful Propaganda Machine

Pro-Fascist echo chamber, denounced by Alan Johnson for spreading the ideology and psychology of grievance, causing Islamists to laugh in celebration.

Seven-headed, braying Hydra spitting chardonnay in the face of the victims of oppression, while spewing the propaganda of moral equivalence from their ivory towers in Hampstead and Islington.

Omnipotent elitist boot stamping on the face of Decency forever, comprising the all-powerful septumvirate of John Kampfner, Michael Moore, Ken Livingstone, Noam Chomsky, Seumas Milne, Madeleine Bunting and the corpse of Michel Foucalt, supported by a gibbering cohort of unserious pro-fascist demonstrators and useful idiots.

The gormless, traitorous yakking of the Academic/Media Complex is directly responsible for the failure of Muscular Liberalism to bomb democracy into the Middle East. The Complex is an unstoppable juggernaut of appeasement, while the only allies of Decency are unknown columnists in the mainstream press and the utterly impotent, marginalised governments of the United Kingdom and the United States of America.

External sources - Death To The Fascist Insect That Preys Upon The Life Of The People, by Alan Johnson.

See also Liberal Dinner Party.

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Realist

Noun

Ree-List

1. Person accepting a situation as it is and dealing with it accordingly.

2. Person objectively collaborating with Fascists, enabling their genocidal hatred and bloodlust.

Cynical reliance upon empirical evidence, as opposed to strict adherence to Decency - Muscular Liberalism rarely allows reality to intrude into its policy considerations.

3. Pejorative term used to belittle Pro-Fascists and Pacifists.

"I think the Republicans have shown that they will exploit any situation to shore up their poll numbers and stuff the pockets of their business associates - they can't be trusted to competently handle further invasions or surgical strikes, and any person with an interest in human rights should refuse to support such actions."

"Why, you're nothing but a calculating, cold blooded, conservative realist whose use for rights and ideals is limited to pretending to care."

See also Pacifism, Appeasement, Moral Equivalence.

Friday, 21 September 2007

The Rubble

Euphamism

Tha Ruh-Buhl

What remains after the judicious application of the Decent Debating Technique and Terrorists Are Bad have led to the complete collapse of a Middle Eastern nation.

Smelly, disorderly pile of exaggeration, moral blackmail, sanctimony and outright lies, upon which a shining era of democracy and human rights shall be built.

That which must never be picked through, unless it is necessary to cannibalise raw materials for the liberation of Iran, Lebanon or Syria.

"the proper concern of genuine liberals and members of the Left should have been the battle to put in place in Iraq a democratic political order and to rebuild the country's infrastructure, to create after decades of the most brutal oppression a life for Iraqis which those living in democratic countries take for granted—rather than picking through the rubble of the arguments over intervention." - Euston Manifesto

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Departure From Universal Principles

Euphamism

Exculpatory linguistic wriggle for distinguishing the criminal brutality of civilised nations from that of fascist tyrannies, best summarised as "Okay, we torture people to death, but if it wasn't for us torture wouldn't be illegal in the first place."

The practice of beating restrained prisoners to death, "Palestinian hanging", coercive drowning, sexual humiliation and other forms of torture, in a network of secret military prisons kept beyond judicial oversight, as tacitly approved by the Republicans.

Moral blank cheque written to ensure that the war crimes of one's allies are put into perspective. When used in conjunction with We Punish War Crimes, We're Nicer Than Saddam and Terrorists Are Bad, allows one to reclaim the moral high ground.

From section C of the Euston Manifesto...

"The violation of basic human rights standards at Abu Ghraib, at Guantanamo, and by the practice of "rendition", must be roundly condemned for what it is: a departure from universal principles, for the establishment of which the democratic countries themselves, and in particular the United States of America, bear the greater part of the historical credit."

Criticism of any such Departures From Universal Principles is permitted only after the recitation of the Catalogue of Contempt in its entirety.

Should not be confused with the minimisation of atrocities, which is solely a tactic of the far Left.

External sources - My Jack Bauer Fantasy by Nick Cohen, What's With This Silly Taboo on Discussing Torture? by Norm Geras, Terrorists Are Bad So Why Should We Give a Shit About Arbitrary Detention and Torture? by Christopher Hitchens.