Friday, 9 October 2009

Updated - The Guardian

Reprehenisble Media Organ

The Garr-Day-Yan

1. Islamist daily newspaper published and purchased by Useful Idiots, The Guardian (See also Al-Grauniad) is the primary source of Suspicious Propaganda, disseminating Racist and Anti-American materials, deliberately and with malice aforethought deletes the names of Israeli Prime Ministers from lists of Nobel Peace Prize Winners, causing Fascists to Laugh In Celebration.

Beloved of Effete Elitists and Bruschetta-munching Hampstead Liberals, The Guardian dribbles its hate-filled bile and Moral Equivalence into the public conciousness like a leaky pisser thrust into the ear of the nation seeks to destroy Israel by intentionally pretending that no Israeli Prime Minsters have ever won the Nobel Peace Prize, thus betraying their deeply ingrained Racist hatred for Israeli Prime Ministers who have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

2. Islamist daily newspaper published and purchased by Useful Idiots that likes to pretend that their horrific, Genocidal omissions from lists of Nobel Prize Winners are data entry mistakes, causing Decents to bang their desks, insist they know lots and lots about data entry and to declare that they know Racist deletions when they see them, and by God, these are Racist deletions.

"I see that the Guardian are trying to pretend that they have merely made a data entry error in an attempt to disguise their naked and blatant malice, their hideous cruelty and their remorseless, ever-throbbing black-hearted yearning for the destruction of Israel".

"Yes, I saw that, and I for one would rather get down on my knees and fellate a bull elephant on national television than allow the Guardian to wriggle away from our entirely non-partisan, semi-psychotic circle-jerk of a Gotcha!".

"I'm sorry, did you just say you'd fellate -"

"A bull elephant, yes".

Sources

Why, This Seems Like An Entirely Sensible Issue Upon Which To Wager a Significant Amount Of Our Website's Credibility, by "Lucy Lips", Harry's Place

We Agree 100% With That Assessment And Are For Some Reason Determined To Stake Large Amounts Of Our Own Credibility Upon This Vital And In-No-Way Hilariously Insane Non-Story, by Jessica Elgot, TheJC.com

I Don't Know What The Decent Left Is, So I Don't Know Any Better, by Tim Collard, Telegraph.co.uk

I'm A Well-Respected And Well-Remunerated Commentator For One Of The World's Foremost Newspapers, Yet I Too Am Keen To Piss a Good Bit Of My Credibility Down The Drain Over This Giant Pile Of Obviously Ridiculous Internet Shite, by Daniel Finkelstein.

I Gather We're All Wagering Our Credibility On Some Idiotic Post At Harry's Place - Count Me In, by Stephen Pollard.

As a Paranoid Lunatic With No Credibility To Lose, I Wholeheartedly Endorse This Ludicrous Propaganda Wheeze, by Melanie Phillips.

This Kind Of Risible Nonsense Is Our Bread And Butter, Jerusalem Post

We Have Wingnut Morons In Canada Too, You Know, by Tom Gross

More reports to follow as this story develops...

See also - Decent Dole.

5 comments:

spiritof1976 said...

Crikey, that's a lot of waffle from HP, the Telegraph et al over what's clearly a non-story. How do these people manage to get so excited over a typo?

nationofduncan said...

Because it clearly demonstrates the vicious, Nazi-like Jew hatred that The Guardian is soaked in.

There is no other plausible explanation for the ommissions from this list except their constant desire to kill, kill and kill again.

Mordaunt said...

Ye gods - that Tom Gross article (and subsequent comments) was truly terrifying.

organic cheeseboard said...

tom Gross says:

[the guardian]has wiped Israel off the Nobel Prize map

But even on the initial, mistyped spreadsheet, the word 'Israel' appeared at all the places where the names should have done.

I still can't quite work out the conspiracy theory behind this. I think it runs: tehgraun hates the jews (and we know this because it doesn't automatically produce leaders wholeheartedly supporting IDF attacks on Gaza), so decided to pretend that no Israelis had won the nobel Peace Prize, even though in each instance of a win the name of the country was left up, and even though many other Jewish winners had their names left on. This deliberate omission (and it was clearly deliberate even though the author has patiently and honestly documented his poor date management which led to the error) is part of a massive misinformaiton campaign about the Middle East. The smoking gun evidence is... someone said something nasty on Cif and it didn't immediately get deleted, but it did get deleted eventually. and er... the guardian's leaders are occaisonally criticla of the IDF. These prove that tehgraun has a track record of jew-hatred in its editorials and that's why this can't possibly be a mistake even with all the evidence to the contrary.

Is that it? even by HP Sauce's woeful standards (Amnesty marches against Guantanamo are 'extremist' as a whole, and anyone speaking at them is also an extremist, because Yvonne Ridley might have spoken at them only we can't be bothered to find out if she did; counterpunch is a neo-nazi magazine because it once published someone we have decided is a nazi; there is antisemitism in pizza) this doesn't really work.

Malky Muscular said...

Gentlemen, of course you realise that the Guardian are obviously guilty of the heinous, racist crimes they are accused of, for this is obviously the kind of heinous thing that a bunch of racists like the Guardian would do.

We have motive - Everybody Knows the Guardian is racist and wants to demean Israel, ergo they are obviously guilty. We have opportunity and a culprit - the racist Guardianista whose moral depravity caused him to commit these genocidal omissions... And we have evidence, to whit

a) They obviously did it and
b) They denied they'd done it, thus proving that they're not only racists, but lying racists into the bargain.

It's an open-and-shut case - they're racist because Everyone Knows they are, hence their genocidal omissions were a deliberate assault on Israel.

Only a racist would dispute it.