Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Administrative Notes 5

Excellent news comrades - the latest edition of Democratiya is now available and contains a rich bounty of insightful and inventive writing.

In this issue, criminology lecturer Simon Cottee utilises the full force of his interrogative powers to enthusiastically me-too Decent Dole recipient Andrew Anthony's furious struggle to shout down the left hemisphere of his own brain.

Foreign Secretary David Miliband announces his fervent belief in the vital importance of sucking up to the Democrats in The Democratic Imperative. Sample quote...

"...I know that many of you will have doubts, citing the mistakes we made in Iraq and Afghanistan... And yes, sadly, mistakes were made. My plea is that you don't let your opinion of the trillion-dollar bloodbath we accidentally kick-started in Vietraq prevent you from supporting movements for democracy... by which I mean, saying Yes, Boss and throwing our weight behind whatever hare-brained scheme we're told to support next...

...So, we must resist the argument of the left and right to retreat into a world of realpolitik, and yadda-yadda-yadda, you get the idea - bombs away, freedom and democracy etcetera.

Thank you for your time, enjoy the finger buffet, all major credit cards accepted."

Prof. Andrei S. Markovitz takes time out from detailing the many injustices he suffered as a child at the hands of anti-American Viennese school teachers to remind us that, since Britain is populated almost entirely with Jew-hating fascists, none of us need re-examine the petty resentments, fallacious certitudes and hyper-partisan outrage that constitute Decent discourse.

Student David Zarnett relieves his bulging bladder over a re-examination of Orientalism while firing rhetorical cannonballs at a shrieking, 700-foot tall SaidZilla that threatens to rampage across Europe, crushing empirical analysis and truth with mighty swipes of its relativist paws.

Matthew Omolesky warns that a France which does not immediately accept the wildly popular cult of Muscular Liberalism as its state religion risks sliding into irrelevance, while Pimp-My-Senator Scoopist Robin Simcox reminds us that Terrorists Are Bad before denouncing the stupidity of those so discombobulated by relativism that they can't recognise impending victory in the War On Terror when they see it.

Finally, editor Alan Johnson passes round the begging bowl and offers salt-of-the-earth leftists the fantastic opportunity to send him large sums of money. Hands in pockets, fellow anti-fascists, for this kind of repetitive reshuffling of the same five talking points, ably remixed by a gaggle of po-faced academics, does not come cheap.

And remember the Democratiya motto - Liberty, if it means anything, is the right to tell ones readers what they wish to hear, over and over again.


Anonymous said...
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Larry Teabag said...

The Decent Big Issue?

Anonymous said...

You forgot the bone-headed democratic internationalism.


Anonymous said...

you also forgot to note the excellent work Alan Johnson has done as an editor, breaking with terrroist-appeasing-liberal-left-academic-convention by maintaining the US English of David Zarnett in a UK journal, and also keeping the phrase 'a myriad of' in Zarnett's article, which is not a mistake that postgrads should have grown out of years ago and any editor should have spotted, but rather an intervention in the development of Decent 'Orwellian Plain Style'. This naturalist and progressive approach to editing a journal is exemplary and we should all give him £200 now to show how much we appreciate all his very hard editorial work.